Potter PickUp Lines
by HexMeIntoAHawthorne
Summary: We are all familiar with the classic "May I Slytherin to your bed tonight?". But when Sirius and James make a bunch of the dirty pick-up lines, a contest breaks out between the Marauders: The innocent pick-up lines brought about by Remus, with the help of Lily against the scandalous ones. The test subjects? Anyone in Hogwarts. How Lily and and the Marauders first became friends.


**A/N: Here's a bit of background information:**

*******-Sixth year, so Lily isn't friends with Severus anymore, but still isn't quite friends with our awesome Marauders. Though she acknowledges Remus, considering he is the other Gryffindor prefect, and seems like the nicest out of the four (Don't worry; ****not**** a Lily/Remus story). So I'm pretty much writing how the true friendship began between Lily/James, by the end of sixth year. Not much of a really romantic side to this besides the pick-up lines because I think that happens by seventh year.**

**-One last thing: if you see a little (#*), just read the rest of the chapter calmly but when you're done with it make sure to check the bottom A/N to see what I have to say about it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of its characters. All rights go to J.K. Rowling. I did come up with the pick-up lines though with the help of OneDinosaur1613. **

* * *

"Blimey, these are genius," Peter said awestruck. The four friends sat outside under a tree near the lake studying. But obviously not for their end of year exams. Merlin's beard no. They were studying the secrets to [supposedly] picking up some _fine_ witches.

"Did you write all of these?" Remus asked some-what in disgust.

"Both Padfoot and I," James proclaimed proudly.

"Obviously it isn't complete. We were hoping you guys would help us with some," Sirius said, "Oh wait, I got a good one." He quickly got a quill and wrote down another pick-up line **(**₁***).** "See, add to it just like that," Sirius explained.

Remus stared with wide-eyes but Peter and James just smirked.

"Sirius… You sly _dog!_" James yelled while playfully punching Sirius on the shoulder.

"Pun not intended," Peter added with a laugh.

"Wow. Really Padfoot? Really?" Remus asked rhetorically.

"Why, yes Moony. And what are you bloody talking about anyway? This is pure gold!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Yeah, if you're paying to get slapped in the face," Remus warned.

"_Well,_ there's obviously only one way to find out," James said smugly.

"Asking a friend that's a girl to see if she would like it?" Peter suggested.

"Close, Wormtail, close, but not quite," Sirius corrected, "We're going to try them out."

* * *

"Oi, Evans!" James yelled as he jogged over to her and her friends diligentlystudying under a different tree. Sirius, Peter, and Remus were close by to watch the show: a certain fellow marauder be humiliated by a certain Lily Evans-_ again_.

"What do you want, Potter?" Lily snapped, standing up. She was already annoyed that James interrupted her studying.

"Oh, nothing. But let's just say I'll have to take Felix Felicis to get lucky with a girl like you tonight," James winked at her.

Lily blinked. Once. Twice. And then punched him square in the nose.

"Awgh! Ow, that hurt!" James said while bending over and covering his nose. The impact made his nose, not only bleed, but hurt like hell as well. But of course that didn't stop Sirius, Peter, or Remus clutch their sides from laughing so hard. '_Some friends' _James thought. Lily rolled her eyes and walked away telling her friends to come with her to study someplace else. "Idiots," She muttered.

Once everything was finally calmed down, Remus nodded his head disapprovingly, Peter grinned, and James held down his head in shame while pinching his nose to stop the continuous blood flow. Sirius put his hand on James's shoulder and said, still trying to stifle his laughter, "Better luck next time mate." Which of course led to another round of laughter from Sirius and Peter. Even Remus chuckled.

"That, my friends, was priceless!" Sirius yelled once the gang entered the common room (after a quick trip to the hospital wing).

"Says the person who didn't get punched!" James argued.

"I tried to tell you guys it wouldn't end well," Remus voiced nonchalantly.

"But that wouldn't have been any fun, now would it?" Sirius asked. Peter laughed along but Remus just rolled his eyes.

"And well, not to side with anyone, but Lily is quite different from the rest. I could've sworn I heard someone else swoon-" James was interrupted by a chuckle.

"Yeah, er, that was me," Peter said trying not to laugh hard in his friend's face.

"Oh."

By then, they couldn't help it; they laughed at James with no mercy. "Well as I was saying before being _rudely _interrupted, besides Lily, it's the only way to get girls; Make them think they're in some sort of dirty scandal," James explained as-a-matter-of-fact-ly. The laughter died down and Peter was the first who spoke.

"Really?" He asked astonished.

"Oh come off it, Prongs! Girls want to feel special and unique," Remus stated delicately. "Not violated," He added in a non-audible whisper.

Sirius scoffed, "Like that will ever work!" James, being well- James, received what he thought was the best idea he ever had.

"Well, like I said before there is only one way to settle this," He said.

Catching on to what he was implying, Remus quickly tried to stop him, "One way to settle this?! You can't be serious-" "Actually, I am Sirius," Sirius interrupted slyly. Remus shot him a glare before continuing, "There are billions of ways to solve this! Not just- are you mental or something?"

Completely ignoring what Remus had just warned, Peter guessed, "A contest?"

"Exactly," James answered with a huge grin.

It took loads of convincing but Remus, in the end, gave in. "But we set some ground rules first," Remus conditioned.

"Of course, Moony. No need to worry," Sirius exclaimed. '_Of course I don't.' _Remus thought sarcastically.

"Alright, so the basics: Everyone uses their own pick-up lines on whomever they want. Whenever someone feels like they convinced the girl by flirting, they get a point. And the person with the most points win," James explained simply.

"What would the winner win?" Peter asked.

"Bragging rights that indicate they have been right all along? Yes, the classic 'I told you so!'" Sirius suggested.

"Seems fair," Remus reasoned.

"Oh, but no hitting on Evans. She's mine," James declared.

"Same with Marlene, for that matter," Sirius added.

"So it's settled, then?" James asked. The others all nodded yes.

"May the best Marauder win."

* * *

**(**₁***): The pick-up line James said to Lily wasn't what Sirius wrote down. You'll read that one in Sirius's specific chapter.**

**And that's the end of the prologue! Thank you so much for reading and possibly reviewing. This is my first Harry Potter story and I only ever read a Marauder story twice I believe, so I need ****all**** the help I can get. If someone seems a bit out of character please tell me. Big thanks to OneDinosaur1613 for refreshing my memory a bit on HP, practically beta-ing this fan-fic, and helping me word out the pick-up lines (sadly I don't have a way with words like Peeta or Voldemort). J **

**Chapter 2 (probably a longer chapter) soon to come. It's called: Prefect Alliance. (At least I think; it may change) Can you guess who the prefects are? Hehehe. **

**P.S. These author notes aren't going to happen very often, nor be as long) so don't worry. I just wanted to get some things straight, so that you don't expect something in the story you're probably not going to get. **

**Thanks again,**

**HexMeIntoAHawthorne (Hunger Games Hawthorne, not the Harry Potter series wand wood Hawthorn)**


End file.
